


The Lust

by dr_zook



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: Fantasizing, Lust, M/M, Pining, Smoking, Watching, on the prowl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-28
Updated: 2012-10-28
Packaged: 2017-11-17 05:54:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/548324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dr_zook/pseuds/dr_zook
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gojyo reflecting upon his relationship with Hakkai, lusting after him and daring to take another step.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Lust

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lauand](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=lauand).



> Title is borrowed from a FUNEREAL MOON song, yet sounds lame. ;D

Maybe I’m becoming paranoid. Then, maybe not. I’m not dumb despite the loudly spread rumours.  
  
He either stares out of the window or directly into my eyes. My skull, to be more precise. That's what it feels like, anyway.

I flick ash onto the floor.

His gaze hardens; the barely visible crow’s feet twitch. “Gojyo, please.”

I don’t know on what his sanity depends. Or on whom. I rather don't want to think about this. He grips the folded shirt he carries so hard that the knuckles of his fingers are stark white against the supple green of the fabric. He stares at the tiny flakes that are scattered by now across the wooden floor of our room in this inn.  
  
If I was one of these flakes, I would instantly vaporize. Hakkai seems to be weird at best of times, but actually he’s fucking creepy.

I swallow, but feel testy. Yes, we communicate via glances, pronouncing words a certain way, quite subtle things. Touches as well. Tiny gestures. You get the picture.  
  
But... I’m sick of it. There hovers something between us. And subtle signs of understanding and affection won’t get us anywhere. I’m a man of action, actually. I don’t hit on chicks-- only to let them return to their empty beds alone. I don’t stumble over half-dead guys in dark, rainy forests-- only to leave them kick the bucket. And I obviously started at some point of our friendship to think about combining those two premises.  
  
And yet, as I said before: I'm not dumb. Or plain horny. No, definitely not. There are way more easier possibilities for me to get laid. But that's not what I want.

I want to watch _him_ loosing his damn composure when I lick a trail from his collarbones over his ribs.

Watch his pulse flutter beneath the taut and ragged skin of his scar.

Watch his sinewy neck when his head and fingers mangle the pillows he lies on as I suck him off.  
  
Yeah, that's it. I get up and crush the cigarette beneath my shoe. Meet his stare and grin. Widely, for Hakkai puts down the clothes a bit scatterbrained and tries a soft and insecure smile. I decide to push further, to let our borders glide against each other. My stomach feels like bursting and pure adrenaline floods my veins, as I step up to him and let him tumble with my spread fingers backwards against the wall.

His eyes glare aghast with a mixture of defiance and incredulity. No, not defiance. Rather determination against all adversities.

That's enough for me, gives me enough audacity to tilt my head slightly to one side and to let the tips of my fingers ask his breastbone with gentle pressure, _do you want me?_  
  
Hakkai's tension glides from his shoulders like a coat, and pools at our feet. His hands take very gently hold of my neck and the back of my skull, and his forehead is put against mine. _Yes_ , I feel him breathe at my lips.


End file.
